What Makes a Great Mom?

So, I can be pretty negative. Especially about myself.









I'm not sure if it's a motherhood thing, but I have noticed it's gotten worse with motherhood. The blaming, the guilt, the "what ifs" and "shouldas." It could just be that there are so many more options and variables to feel guilty about.









Like "shoulda done more blog posts..." :-)









But every so often I get tired of it. Tired of blaming myself, feeling like crap about myself, tired of feeling hopeless, tired of feeling miserable, tired of feeling like I'm not a good mom or wifey. Sometimes, it's the pit of depression, and there's not a whole lot I can do, except try to hold and fight. But sometimes it's just me feeling sorry for myself. YES, I said that. I think that can be a big part of the problem.









So here's where I begin again, again. I want to be a great mom, a great person. In my own eyes, but also in my husband's, my family's, my friends'. Not that I need to impress anyone, but I certainly have a need for affirmation. Something else that I'm working on...more guilt...argh.









So, how do I accomplish that? Let's do away with too-big and hard-to-reach goals: yes, I need to exercise every day, remember to do quiet times, take time every day for myself, read more fiction, read more how-to cook books and what to do when your toddler doesn't sleep books, etc, etc, pile on more guilt for not doing these! Let's start with something more simple.









Here's something that I have been pondering for a while. Now I'm putting it to paper! Er, to the internets. It's a good starting point.









Things I should do Everyday as a Stay at Home Mom - in Order to Stay Sane




1. Brush my teeth




2. Comb my hair




3. Wash my face/shower




4. Get dressed




5. Have my coffee




6. Not feel guilty about taking time to do these things for myself, not just for the little ones that follow me around




7. Not feel bad about myself if I do not accomplish this list every day

I Want my Blankie Back

The Prince has a few loveys. As soon as it was safe for him to sleep with a small blankie, I made a little yellow one with his name on it. He soon adopted a stuffed Pooh Bear. And my baby blankie.

Yes, I have a baby blankie. It is, in fact, my baby blankie from when I was little. It's name is "Pink Blankie," although it has never been pink. It is white (well, sorta grey now) with a yellow satin edging. The edging has been replaced multiple times. I use it to help me get to sleep. It's been around the world, carefully tucked into my suitcase.

I don't mind when he uses my blankie. I assume it smells like me, and when we went to the hospital to have The Princess, I actually left it at home in case he needed it. When I came home, it was in his bed. And there it's slept every night since.

I guess it is time to grow up in that respect. I'll gladly let him use Pink, if it helps him through this transition time. But on the days when he brings all his loveys into my bed to snooze a bit, I'll grab a corner to share.

Exaltation of the Afflicted

My heart is broken for the children involved in the Penn State scandal. The more I hear about it, the more I am sickened. I've been wondering what I can do - for the kids, and for my own children to prevent something like this from ever happening to them. Again and again, I've been brought to my knees in prayer.

I came across Isaiah 61 this afternoon. I have a few passages from the chapter underlined, but I was swept away by the appropriateness of the entire chapter for those boys. This will be my prayer for them.

Isaiah 61

Exaltation of the Afflicted

1 The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me,
Because the LORD has anointed me
To bring good news to the afflicted;
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
To proclaim liberty to captives
And freedom to prisoners;

2 To proclaim the favorable year of the LORD
And the day of vengeance of our God;
To comfort all who mourn,
3 To grant those who mourn in Zion,
Giving them a garland instead of ashes,
The oil of gladness instead of mourning,
The mantle of praise instead of a spirit of fainting.
So they will be called oaks of righteousness,
The planting of the LORD, that
He may be glorified.

4 Then they will rebuild the ancient ruins,
They will raise up the former devastations;
And they will repair the ruined cities,
The desolations of many generations.
5 Strangers will stand and pasture your flocks,
And foreigners will be your farmers and your vinedressers.
6 But you will be called the priests of the LORD;
You will be spoken of as ministers of our God.
You will eat the wealth of nations,
And in their riches you will boast.
7 Instead of your shame you will have a double portion,
And instead of humiliation they will shout for joy over their portion.
Therefore they will possess a double portion in their land,
Everlasting joy will be theirs.
8 For I, the LORD, love justice, I hate robbery in the burnt offering;
And I will faithfully give them their recompense
And make an everlasting covenant with them.
9 Then their offspring will be known among the nations,
And their descendants in the midst of the peoples.
All who see them will recognize them
Because they are the offspring whom the LORD has blessed.

10 I will rejoice greatly in the LORD,
My soul will exult in my God;
For He has clothed me with garments of salvation,
He has wrapped me with a robe of righteousness,
As a bridegroom decks himself with a garland,
And as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.
11 For as the earth brings forth its sprouts,
And as a garden causes the things sown in it to spring up,
So the Lord GOD will cause righteousness and praise
To spring up before all the nations.

Morning Getaway

We went to Target. That seems like one of the best places for a mommy and her kiddos, don't you think?

When I got home, I realized that I left the three things I really went for in the cart. Sigh. At least I didn't pay for them. I missed the items in the mess of jackets and kids in the buggy.

Guess we'll have to go back!

Thank God for Mimi

My mom (Mimi) has always been awesome. But with the birth of the Princess, she literally saved my life. Mimi planned two weeks of vacation for the time right after the sweet baby girl was born. The last few months, we've been jokingly asking The Princess to wait until her due date to be born, because that's the schedule that would work for everyone, particularly Mimi. The Princess was born about twelve hours after Mimi's last shift ended.

She cooks, she cleans, she usually only gives advice when asked (and doesn't say 'I told you so' when I should have asked), she entertains The Prince, she lets me sleep.

Thanks, Mom.

Seriously, two?

I've been debating about what my first post-pregnancy blog should be about. Labor and delivery, the second time around? The status of my sanity, as relates to the amount of sleep I get, and the number of children I have? How there's no possible way I could have made it through the last few weeks without help?

I'll just settle for some pictures of the joyous occasion.

Pregnancy Tidbits

The bigger I get, the skinnier the world looks to me.

My legs look great? Don't you think? That's one good thing about the big middle. I'm living in my leggings.

Pregnancy insomnia will allow you to blog at 3:00 am.

This Princess may be a Cowgirl. The pregnancy insomnia includes such stuck-in-my-head songs as "Fishing," "You and Tequila," and any ZBB songs.

Pregnancy brain will lead you to do many funny things. Like, get everything accomplished on your to-do list at work on Friday, only to realize on Saturday that you've forgotten to print the weekly bulletin for church. Sigh.

First Haircut

He chose the yellow car, and we brought snacks for distraction.

Wait, you wanna do what?

First sprays of water...

First cuts...doing OK...

Success.

Handsome boy! OK, it might not look like much, but we really cut off a couple of inches. Just couldn't bear to get rid of all the curls!

Snooze

First time at Snooze.

As a diner, at least.

He had the berry bowl.

Can I please have a day off?

Not sure how it happens that suddenly it's been so long since my last post. I'm pretty sure there's a time warp in my living room.

I'm not sure I can do it today. You know, life & responsibilities. I'm not suicidal or anything, I'd just like to crawl back into bed today.

Last night, The Prince decided that midnight to 3:00 was a fantastic time to be up, and I had a hard time convincing him otherwise. He wanted to sleep in Mommy and Daddy's bed, but he couldn't settle down, and Mommy can't sleep when he is sharing. So, I spread a quilt out on the living room floor, like he and I were camping, so we'd both have enough room. (I was thinking about sleeping on the floor anyway - it's very nice on my back these days.) Eventually, we both went back to sleep.

So, I'm very short tempered today, as is The Prince. I'm hoping I don't make any stupid sleep-deprived mistakes at work, and that I don't make any stupid sleep-deprived snaps at my family.

It's been a terribly stressful few weeks. I'm no longer working from home, which seems to be good news and bad news, and my pregnancy hormones are going bonkers. I cry a lot, and the hormones and not sleeping make for a yucky vicious cycle.

Sigh. Unfortunately, I can't just take a day off of live and work and mothering and relationships. We'll see how today goes.

Don't Worry, it's Normal

Well, it's happening again.

No, I'm not carrying twins.

No, I'm not even gaining too much weight. My doctor said so.

This wee baby Princess is just carrying way far to my front. "Like a basketball," as my nurse practitioner said.

It happened with The Prince. And, to be fair, I did gain some extra weight with him, but, come on. I was teaching at the time, and I had a few kids make some tactless comments. And also some colleagues. And strangers.

Here's some advice: don't ever tell a pregnant lady that she looks "so big." You could probably really hurt her feelings, and the storm of hormones behind her smile could spell disaster for anyone standing too closely.

Truly, I am happy about my weight and my shape, because it means my baby is growing and healthy, and my body is doing what it needs to do to get the job done.

Just don't tell me I look fat.

Has it Really Been that Long?

You know, in a good way.


This week, I celebrate eight years of marriage. I'm lucky enough to have married my best friend, my sweetie pie. Brian is super amazing, and I can't imagine my life without him. He's taught me so much, and I'm so excited to be starting a family with him.

Here are a few of my favorite memories.

Baby Life #8

I have a confession to make...

Some days, when it's just The Prince and me, I forget to brush my teeth.

The Prince doesn't seem to mind.

Things I Know

It's nice to take a few days off from the internet.

It's less nice to take a few days off from the internet if it's because a nasty stomach bug is cycling through your family.

It's just a phase - The Prince won't always want to pull my hair. Or at least he'll have enough self-control not to pull it.

It's just a phase - The Prince won't always want to give me a fierce, wet, after-bath hug. I'll definitely enjoy it while it lasts.

You can't hear tone in email...you can't hear tone in email...you can't hear tone in email...

The more research I do about being healthy, the less I want to eat some of my favorite things. Sigh. I think sometimes it's better not knowing.

The Prince is the cutest and smartest little boy in the world.

A hubby who will wake up at 2:00 am to make you gatorade is freaking awesome.

I won't ever get tired of reading the Twilight series, or the Harry Potter series.

The Royal Wedding reinforced my need to be a princess. How nice of them to let me live vicariously through them.

Some day I'll get a full night's sleep again.

Sunshine, a slight breeze, and birdies singing make for an amazing morning walk.

Joining a MOPS group can do wonders for, well, everything about you when you're a new mommy.

Even when FB spells everything out for you, it's hard to keep up with all the birthdays and graduations. Sorry, friends. Congratulations.

Self-Serve

The Prince and I were discussing his snack. He didn't care for the strawberries and cheerios that I offered him, so we moved on to other things.

Later, I was preparing dinner. He got into the fridge and got himself two clementines, and started eating them. Peels and all.

I convinced him to let me wash and peel them.

More Prince

Well, with a month off from blogging, another Prince update is due. He is the smartest and cutest baby ever. He really is. Here are a few of his latest shenanigans.


Spaghetti. He didn't like it at first, but now pasta and tomato sauce is one of his favorite things.

He's mastering using silverware. Here, he shows off, using two spoons at once.














Easter, with all the boys in hawaiian shirts.














His second trip to the zoo, but the first one he really enjoyed. He especially liked running around and looking at the plants. He spent the most time looking at tiny climbing monkeys and an anteater. As soon as we saw the elephants, he lifted his arm and buzzed like an elephant, just like his daddy showed him.

Baby Life #7

Yesterday I realized that I still enjoy and am amazed by the sound of The Prince breathing (especially while sleeping!). I'm thinking that feeling will never diminish. What a gift.

The Prince, Just Shy of Fifteen Months

Our little man certainly is a babe of many talents. His most recent accomplishments include learning how to open doors (watch out for those lever handles), learning how to open toilets, and getting over RSV.

His spoken vocabulary is still pretty small. He knows (or has said in the past) "teddy bear," "mama," "dada," "meemaw and mimi (grandma)," but he can recognize many words that we say to him. When I talk about the laundry, he goes over to the washer and dryer. He can help feed the dog when we ask him to get her food bowl. He does spend much of the day chattering and singing in baby jargon.

He has become quite good at signing. He can do the signs for dog, cat, milk, please, water, food, and is very good at pointing and grunting. He understands the signs for more, no touch, no bite.

He responds to warnings when he's doing things he shouldn't, like standing up on the chairs or getting into the dog kennel when the dog is eating. It usually goes something like this: "Prince, sit on your bottom. 1...2..." At this point he either sits down, or refuses to and is removed from the situation. Often he will watch Mom or Dad as they count, pushing as far as he can.

He is very good at climbing. He can climb onto chairs, stools, and beds, up stairs, and pretty much whatever you put in front of him.

His appetite seems to have increased. He eats several servings of fruits, veggies, and grains at each meal, with a couple snacks each day and lots of protein. His current favorites are blueberries, bananas, clementines, and graham crackers.

He gets very frustrated when things aren't going his way, like when he's trying to pull the toy doggy and it flips over, or when he can't quite pull the lid off of the blocks tub.

He had gone to just one nap each day, but this week he's been taking two naps. He is fairly consistently sleeping until 6 or 6:30 each morning. Praise the Lord for that!

He is very social. He loves going to his daycare and sitter's house, and playing with his friends at MOPS. Sometimes Mommy has a hard time keeping him busy when it's just the two of us.

He loves to clap, dance, and lift his arms up to say "yahoo!"

He loves water, whether at bathtime, in the dog bowl, or in someone's cup.

The Sleep Saga Continues

You're probably tired of me posting about The Prince's sleeping habits. Well, I'm tired of writing about them. But, it is a struggle we continue to face, and so I'll continue to share.

The problem with sleep training, other than its difficulty, is that it is ongoing. I assume some day The Prince will sleep through the night consistently, but I am beginning to have doubts.

All was going pretty peachy keen, then he got sick. And he got used to being tended to in the middle of the night. He received attention, of course, because he actually couldn't breathe. Now that he can breathe, however, he still expects the nighttime visits.

I have read that this is how things will be. After an illness, a vacation, anything that upsets his schedule, we will have to go through this sleep training all over again. It's almost enough to avoid vacations.

Hopefully, as he gets older the relapsing after these occasions will be less severe. We'll just keep at it tomorrow night.

Arg

Tonight I am frustrated with myself.

It is the end of a very long week. The Prince has been very sick. He's had a cough for several weeks, but (after two doctor's visits in two days) we were told he also has RSV. This is a very scary virus, most especially for very young babies, so we are fortunate that The Prince is a bit older. Regardless, it's been sleepless nights for everyone, and much mucous.

I started this evening feeling defeated from the week. It seems as though my son has spent the last several days crying, much at night, and there is not much I can do. I can't soothe him, he can't take many meds to help, and I have gotten to the "I can't handle this" point several times.

Thus my frustration. I feel like these feelings are normal, but in perspective, we are OK. With the tragic deaths over the holidays, and now one of my friends from college is in the hospital with an extremely sick newborn, I don't think I should be feeling quite so sorry for myself. To be sure, I am in a serious situation as well. But I am also in a fortunate one.

After I laid him down for the night, The Prince began crying again. This is unusual, to start crying so close to this side of bedtime, so I went in to check on him. We rocked a bit, he held his sea horsey, and he talked to me. Just chatted, as if he needed a few more minutes to tell me things. No crying, just a few smiles and sweet baby words. I laid him down, and he went to sleep.

What a precious gift my son gave me. I'm still exhausted and bewildered by the week, but I was priveleged enough to share a special moment with him.

I suppose we'll get through this. The laundry and dishes will probably have to wait, and I'll once again need to evaluate my expectations of myself.