Reflections on the Season

The Prince started walking last week. He's been taking one or two steps, but it seems as though he thinks "Wait, I don't do this," then drops to his knees and crawls. But, he took ten baby shuffle steps to hand the dog her ball. It was sort of a strange moment. Hubs and I looked at each other and squealed, then clapped, but it seemed like there should have been fanfare and crowd applause.

I can think of other recent moments that should have had extra fanfare. Maybe not the moment of The Prince's birth; it seems that there was plenty of noise then, but a parenthetical moment for Hubs and myself might have been nice. We didn't really get that until later in the day. But, certainly, when I went into labor, fanfare would have been great. The moment that we'd been waiting almost ten months for, that would start everything, had finally arrived. Graduations have fanfare, and weddings have fanfare-type music. How about the triumph of waking up and having the strength to get out of bed some mornings? Or thinking of something to make for dinner? Or having all the dishes done and all the laundry baskets empty (if only for a few moments)?

Mary didn't have fanfare in the manger. She did get a lot of strangers visiting (can't imagine having just given birth and entertaining such a wide variety of people), and she'd had angelic visions and such, but it seems like our Saviour should have had fanfare at His arrival. At least an epic soundtrack.

But that's all an integral part of the story, isn't it? How He humbled himself, and did without all the normal king-ley things. Having my own child makes so many things look different to me, not the least of which is the whole Christmas story. Seriously? Jesus became so helpless, dependent on others for everything? How many times did the Lord of All pee in his mom's face? Did she have trouble nursing him? Did he cry when a forbidden or dangerous item was taken away from him for his safety? Did he wake his mom up many times at night?

I'm proud to call Jesus my Lord, all the much more so for all these things. And when I think of the story, I have special fanfare going on in my head. Hallelujah, Lord Jesus.

It was going to be a busy day, so I was hurrying around during The Prince's nap to get ready.

Now, what is one of the worst things Mommy can hear during Baby's nap? The doorbell. And the fearsome guard dog reacting to the doorbell.

I got the dog quieted and edged around her to open the door. The new neighbor was standing there, holding jumper cables (Our interactions with this neighbor have been limited to introductions and silent grumbling at their dog's "packages" left on the shared front lawn).

She says "Our battery's dead, can you help us?" I think "No. I don't want to. I'm in a terrible hurry, and I don't want to leave my sleeping baby alone in the house. Arg, really? Lord, do you want me to do this? Well, how many times have I needed jumped, and I was at the mercy of coworkers and a rescuing hubby? Answer: too many. Sigh. OK." Out loud, I say "All right, give me a few minutes."

I finished applying my mascara, threw on jeans and a sweatshirt, and tried to sneak out without disturbing the guard dog.

The neighbor's mysterious grandson appeared briefly, then disappeared, leaving the lady and myself. That's ok, I've got lots of practice with this.

I wedged my car in next to the handicapped spot, and she very carefully popped her hood. Her dog helped. I searched for the hooky to undo her hood. For future reference, in mid-decadeish grey Ford Explorer-types, it's in the front grille.

Popped the hood ("Red to red, black to black!" Really? Thanks. Got it.), attached the cables, instructed her what to do, turned on my car. Her engine roared to life. I told her to keep the car running to recharge, and swiftly unhooked the cables and drove my car back to it's spot. Ran into the house, and The Prince is still sleeping soundly.

I'm sort of repulsed at myself for hesitating, not only because of the holiday season, and my beliefs, but because I actually prayed a few days ago for God to use me. As I was praying, I hesitated. Did I really want to ask for this? This was bound to bring challenges my way, calls to step outside my comfort zone. So, when my prayer was answered, why did I not jump at the chance?

So, I'm learning. And trying to embrace the challenges.

Taste Test

The Prince is beginning to be a picky eater. When he feels like it. I've heard that a toddler won't starve himself, and I don't want to start the habit of making a new meal when he doesn't like what I'm serving, but I worry that he's getting enough to eat.

Today for lunch The Prince had mashed potatoes with acorn squash and a couple handfuls of small bits of baked sweet potatoes and apples, bananas, and cheerios. But, they didn't really make him happy (until today, sweet potatoes and bananas have been his favorites).

I made myself some scrambeled eggs and potatoes, and sat down to eat while The Prince started his finger foods. Really, just started throwing, squishing, and feeding the dog. He eyed my plate, and said he'd rather have some of that (until today, he has absolutely detested scrambeled eggs).

So, I gave him a bite of eggs. He thought it was great! I decided to use the "every other bite" method, offering him eggs, then sneaking in his lunch. After the third or so bite, he stuck his tongue out to taste it before he accepted it.

Sigh. He has caught on to one of my eating tricks. Isn't he smart?

Baby Life #5

Laundry Math

Dryer sheets will multiply, tiny socks will be subtracted.

Snapshot of the Prince

Here are a few tidbits of what The Prince is up to these days. He's 10 months and 25 days old.

Today, he learned how to shake his head. Like to say "no." I don't think he knows what it means, but it makes for some pretty entertaining moments. Me: Let's put your diaper on. The Prince: Shakes his head. Me: Let's get out of the bathtub. The Prince: Shakes his head.

He takes two naps a day. Typically, he's a speed napper, usually doing two 45 minute stretches at 8:30 and 1:30. This week, though, he's slept for a least an hour each time.

He's gone back to waking up two times a night. For a blissful few weeks, it was just once, but just in time for our trip, he started on the two times again. I go back and forth between enjoying the time and wishing we could move on.

He seems thisclose to walking. He's been cruising for awhile, and in OK he pushed a doll's buggy around and around at Granny A and Papa Bear's house.

If he's really enjoying himself, like playing with dishes or toys, he can play independently for quite awhile. He just drags whatever's currently interesting him around. Sometimes he sits and turns little circles on his bottom, moving his toy around and around.

Hungry, hungry, hungry! He eats three meals, two snacks, and nurses around six times each day. He loves finger food, and prefers to feed himself. His favorites are sweet potatoes (baked fries or mashed), yogurt, cheese, and most fruits. If I'm feeding him his veggies first, he often won't eat until I give him some finger food or alternate bites of veggies and fruits. Sometimes I give him his own spoon to hold and practice with.

He enjoys sucking his big toe.

He can click with his tongue.

He has a great smile and laugh, but he also smiles with his eyes. They kind of crinkle up and he does just a small smile with his mouth.

Since it's hard to get him to sit still for any length of time, we read to him in the bathtub. Right now, we read Goodnight Moon every night, and he gets very excited when it's time. Sometimes he yells and looks over to where the book is if he thinks its time to start reading.

He is fast. Always moving, always wanting to get into things and discover. It's so cool to watch him learning.

My goodness, I could go on and on. I won't tonight. More for later!

The Best Things about Thanksgiving in OK

1. Food. It's always great in OK, but aside from the usual favorites (Braums, Taco Mayo, BBQ with all the fixin's, velveeta mac n cheese) we had TWO Thanksgiving feasts. That meant we had plenty of mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, homemade stuffing, various cranberry dishes, and turkey AND ham both days. And did I mention the pies? In OK, there's no such thing as "too much" food. Feeling a bit hungry? Have another helping of EVERYTHING. A little hungry before bedtime? Have another piece of pecan pie. Might as well have another pumpkin, too. Don't mind if I do!

2. Family. Ok, maybe this should be #1. A wonderful Memaw, oodles of excited and exciting aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents all just busting to play with The Prince. And they were excited to see his mom and dad, too. Definitely the most precious part of the trip.

3. Where the wind comes sweeping. The Prince had a blast crawling around Memaw's yard, and even playing in a pile of leaves in Aunty K's. Yes, Daddy let The Prince play in the leaves. Daddy even threw the leaves on The Prince. Mommy cringed, but enjoyed watching The Prince enjoy himself and discover his love for the outdoors. They are such boys.

Bonus? The OK family is coming out for a CO Christmas. We are so excited! This hasn't happened since I've been in the family, but they are all going to bravely trek out here and spend a few days in close quarters. That's what family's all about, right? Can't wait!

Depression Reference

Weeping may last for the night,
But a shout of joy comes in the morning. Psalm 30:5

Bring on the mornings, Lord.

Pray for Peace

A new friend of mine shared some wisdom with me over coffee and crocheting: if you ask God for patience, He'll certainly give it, but you'll learn it through trials and unexpected kinks in your path. Instead, ask God for peace.

Not that I wouldn't want to grow through trials and become a much better person, better prepared for what God has in store for me, but it seems like a good measure of peace would be a great way to ready for that journey.

I pray for peace in my life, amidst all the chaos and uncertainty of finances, sleepless nights, and various unknowns that constantly hover around the edges.

I pray for peace for my baby, as he tries to sleep through the night. I ask God to put His arms around my son, and to comfort and relax him.

I pray for peace in the lives of those in my marigold garden (it's an illustration I found to describe people you pray for) in the chaos of their lives, and all the challenges they face.

The list goes on. And you know what? I really can feel it. I'm a pretty emotional person, and I don't handle stress well. But with God's peace, I feel like I can face whatever comes and deal with it. I'm learning what's really important, and what's just not.

And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your
hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Phillipians 4:7

I've often heard this verse, but not usually in context. The verses immediately preceding it are about not worrying, about lifting requests up to God and letting Him handle it. It seems like a cycle - I ask God for peace, but that peace also comes with giving Him my worries. It's all connected, and God's constantly teaching me and showing me His majesty and glory.

The Prince SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT!

My name is Mommy, and my ten-month-old son just SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT! Ohmygoodness, I wasn't sure if this would ever happen. He's actually been getting a little better every night this week, sleeping until 4:00, then 5:00, and this morning...6:00!

Now, the last time he slept until 5:00 he started waking up again the following nights, so we'll see if this sticks. But now I know that he can do it! Woo hoo!

For a kid that doesn't usually sleep well, he sure hates waking up.

Here is grouchy wake-up face:

Honesty

I battle depression. I say "battle" rather than "struggle" because it truly is a battle, for my sanity, my heart, for me.

I first remember feeling it in high school, although I didn't know what it was at the time. A friend's mom described it as I "lost my sparkle." Sometimes it's a sadness so profound that I can hardly face life, sometimes it's just, well, nothing. A deep, overwhelming feeling of nothingness. Either way, it's crippling on the worst days, and stifling on the "easy" days, like trying to catch a deep breath in humidity.

Sometimes I can pinpoint triggers, but sometimes it just takes me by surprise. It can last for part of a day, or for weeks. Accomplishments, busy-ness, buying things, eating, all can help, but it's like putting a bandaid on a gushing wound. It doesn't solve the problem, and I still have to address it again later (and many times those "fixes" lead to problems of their own).

One of the worst things is how it warps my sense of truth. Things that I know to be true just aren't anymore. Or it doesn't matter that they are true. I know that I am "fearfully and wonderfully made," but it just doesn't feel true in those moments.

I also feel very alone. I hate asking for help, mostly because I hate bothering people for something I need. Nevermind that companionship or empathy might truly help - it just doesn't feel that way in the moment.

I thank God that I've never felt suicidal, and that I didn't have worse post-partum depression. I felt it, to be sure, but somehow never slipped so far over the edge that I couldn't find my way back.

So, where does that leave me? Sounds like a pretty sad case here. My favorite remedy? Drugs. Seriously. Those happy pills are one of modern medicine's best inventions. Today's anti-depressants don't alter your personality, and if one isn't working, others are available for your specific case. The only problem with the drugs...I went off them when we started trying for a baby. I felt very strongly about affects on the child. I know there have been studies, and there are versions you can take that aren't supposed to affect the baby, but I really feel like there isn't enough long-term data for that. I didn't want to risk it. Those were a wild few years, and I promise I would have gone back on them if I felt like I couldn't make it.

My second-best solution, then, is a whole-lifestyle approach. I totally disagree with Tom Cruise and his vitamin spiel, but those vitamins can make a difference. Add a healthy diet with fish and nuts for those omega-3's, plenty of non-processed food, lots of sunshine and exercise, counseling, a balance of fun and creative activities mixed in with work, etc., etc. That's all, right? Well, at least a valiant attempt at having those things has made a difference to me.

I really can't say enough about the creative outlets. Doing something, even for just a few minutes each day, makes a huge difference. Find a musician or artist who expresses how you feel at your worst, and then try to find one that expresses how you feel at your best. Heck, if you can put into words or art your own feelings, you're turning the darkness on its head and using it for good!

More recently, I started keeping a notebook labeled "Depression References." It's going to be verses and other writings that I find inspirational in this battle. I know I tend to overlook their truth in my darkness, but I get the feeling having a long list of these truths and snippets could be a pretty good battle plan.

Here are a couple of my current favorites:

"The Lord my God illumines my darkness." Psalm 18:28

"A bruised reed He will not break, and a dimly burning wick He will not extinguish." Isaiah 42:3

May I Present...the Baby Mandrake

Baby Life #4

Don't feed The Prince blueberries for breakfast on picture day, or you might have to re-bathe him. Heck, you might as well just bring the bathtub to pictures and dip him directly before the shoot.

PS - Even though Mommy finally seems to be growing out of her acne, she will get a giant zit for picture day.

Insert Murphy's Law as it relates to picture day here.

Best-Dressed Sooner This Side of I-40

This one is compliments of Great Uncle Mike in NC.

OK, The Prince isn't wearing Sooner gear here, but Daddy is, and it's just so darn cute.

The rest of the clothes are from Memaw in OK.

This is The Prince sitting in a rocking chair that his dad and granddad used.

Discoveries

Sometimes, when I undo The Prince's onesie to change him, I find leftover snacks.


Today there was a cheerio and a small piece of apple, tucked right into the top of his diaper.



Saving it for later?


Here's the cheerio print:

That's a Relief

1 John 4:4

...greater is He who is in you than he who is in the world.

Baby Life #3

Murphy's Law, as it relates to poo.

The day you clean the bathroom will likely be the day baby poos in the bathtub.

A No-Nap Day

Yesterday was a no-nap day. That's never happened before. Sometimes The Prince takes a late nap if he's too excited, or one of his naps will be extra-short, but never both naps.

A challenge!

The first plan of action: leave early for work and drive around longer so he can have a snooze in the car. The result? No extra sleep.

The second plan of action (carried out by his sitter): rock to sleep. The result? Woke as soon as he left her arms.

The third plan of action (again with the sitter): take a walk to relax to sleep. The result? Fell asleep, but woke as soon as they stopped moving.

In The Prince's defense here, the sitter's house is a pretty exciting place to be. He loves to play there, and his buddies were there, too. But he usually gets a good nap in.

The fourth plan of action (getting pretty late in the day here): hopefully he'll fall asleep on the way home and doze for longer?? The result? Fell asleep, but woke up upon arrival at home.

The last plan for the day: play as much as possible, to distract from lack of sleep, and take up time before bed. The result? The most successful plan of the day.

I'm not sure how he did it, but he slept for about one hour the whole day. Quite a difference for someone who likes to sleep at least twice that daily, sometimes attempting to sleep more during the day than at night.

Don't smaller creatures need more sleep?

Baby Life #2

"Oh Snap." Exclamation used when trying to line up and fasten the fifty or so snaps on The Prince's sleeper during a mid-night changing, or those on his onesie while he's awake and thrashing about.

Baby Life #1 - How things are different in parenthood

Sayings and cliches that take on new meaning.

"Sleeping like a baby." As a good thing? Seriously? Who made this one up?

Closer

We are one night closer to sleeping longer than four hours at a time.

Last night, when The Prince started crying at 11:30, I prayed. I cried out to God in desperation. My prayer was urgent, born of exhaustion.

Why is it that I do the thing that should be on the top of my list last?

The Prince got himself back to sleep. It happened several times, and we nursed at 3:00, but it was our best night yet. He woke up at 6:15 to eat again, and he was in a better morning mood than he has been for quite a while.

Each time he woke, I cried out again to God. It became a sort of a prayer-cheer, begging God for help and urging The Prince on. God answered in a way that made it clear He was at work.

We'll try again tonight, and I'll try to remember where my help comes from.

1:30 A.M.

Things to think about at 1:30 a.m. whilst letting The Prince cry it out

1. What is "it," anyway?

2. I am teaching my son a valuable life skill. I won't be able to help him go back to sleep at 1:30 and 4:30 every night in college.

3. What is the correct usage of "whilst?" (dunno; I'll use it anyway)

4. Mom and Dad don't really get any more sleep whilst the Crying it Out is taking place.

5. Am I sure The Prince isn't sick or teething? (pretty sure)

6. He really does seem to be winding down, then is quiet for a bit, then starts it up again every 3-5 minutes or so. What gives? (not sure)

7. How many minutes has it been? I think I dozed off in one of the lulls. (guess we do get a little bit more sleep)

8. If I buy him a pony, will he sleep? (worth a try)

9. How long has it been since I've gotten a complete night's sleep? (over a year, during the early part of my pregnancy. That's depressing)

10. Why didn't I just try to do the whole night when we were doing this a couple months ago? (I couldn't handle it. I'm thinking I should have tried harder to handle it)

11. WILL I EVER GET MORE SLEEP? (sigh. Dunno)

12. It seems easier just to nurse him to relax him (he never seems super hungry at the nighttime feedings anymore). If I don't stop that now, won't we have to go through it when we wean anyway?

13. Still jealous of my friends who get to sleep; still glad for more time with The Prince.

14. Is hubby snoring? Well, guess he gets more sleep.

15. Probably wouldn't be able to sleep anyway - now the pug is snoring, too.

Now that that's off my chest, I feel a little better. Tired, but better.

16. Looks like the extra commentary sentence at the end is the way I like to blog.

Shuffle

Oh, how I love my iPod.

It was my Christmas present two years ago, and I use it every day. When I was teaching, I used it for all my classes: music to run and skip to, music to play harmonicas to, music to get ready for band to. I listen to my own playlists in the car, and while hanging out. And "Liam's Lullabyes" (yes, I know it's spelled incorrectly, but that's what makes sense to me) are a crucial part of naptime and bedtime routines.

Throw in all the pictures of The Prince, a few movies, music videos, games, and what more could you ask for?

Best present ever, along with the portable dock that came the next year. Thanks, hubs.

And can I say how genius "shuffle" is? My goodness, all my favorites, all mixed up. I didn't think I'd like it, because I'm one to listen to entire albums over and over, but like it I do. Perhaps that's a comment on how society's need for instant gratification and neat packaging of manageable bites, but that's a topic for another post. Actually, I think it's more how I like to hear bits of all my favorite artists and songs, and really enjoy how funny it is to hear Evanescence, then Carol King, then Dixie Chicks, then Mariah Carey, then Amy Grant...that's me!

Creature Comforts

What things can you not live without? For me, it's always been my chapstick. I've always got to have a tube in my pocket or purse. How about splurges? I enjoy really good coffee. I am an admitted coffee snob, but that comes from working at a family-owned coffee shop for years, and learning (and tasting) what really makes a good cup.

While we have our splurges, hubby and I are really good at living thriftily. It's not our favorite way to live, but we can do it when we have to. For me, that means no clothes shopping, no eating out, eating all the leftovers. We lived this way at the beginning of our marriage, and throughout the college years. More recently, we've been able to indulge a bit more, but The Prince has certainly changed the breathing room in our budget.

All that to say, when something breaks or runs out, it's weighed in level of importance for the replacement timeline. A few weeks ago, Daddy and The Prince were sitting in the recliner, and Mommy decided to squish in with them. CREAK-CRACK. Uh oh. I said, "Did I break it?" Daddy said, "Yes." Sigh. (I suspect the crack may have been started several weeks ago by visiting family members getting very comfortable in the chair...at least that makes me feel better. It was a Wal-mart special to begin with. I was impressed it lasted as long as it did.)

A few days went by, and we tried to live with it. It sorta worked, just leaned very much to the left when reclined. But, you see, The Prince is still not sleeping through the night, and is apparently part shark with all the teeth that are coming in, and the recliner is key to getting through those nights. If it's not time to eat, Daddy sits and rocks in the recliner with baby, and everyone can rest again. It's actually quite crucial to getting any sleep.

Daddy put his foot down and went on a quest for a new recliner. We couldn't live without it.

Two stores, several test sits, and one emotional breakdown to a bewildered sales lady later, and we are the proud owners of a new rocking recliner. It's big, dark brown, sorta fuzzy, and oh-so-comfy. It feels like it will live longer than the Wal-mart Special, and it may just hold all three of us. But I'm still nervous to try.

Life Changing Experiences

Since my experience at Yogurtland was life-changing (sorry for the inconsistent use of the hyphen. That inconsistency will probably be consistent throughout this post), I thought I'd spend some time coming up with other life-changing events.



1. My first taste of spaghetti. I don't remember it, but it must have happened at some point, because spaghetti is now my favorite food.



2. Band girl that I am, I decided to quit band senior year of HS (for fairly childish, but perfectly valid reasons). I was able to focus on singing and choir, and realize how much I love that, which eventually led to my degree in voice.



3. My decision to leave my freshman year of college early, because of family and money challenges. I was able to transfer to Colorado Christian University the following fall. It was absolutely where I needed to be at that point in my life, and it helped me more fully pursue my faith.



4. Saying "yes" to the date offer from the strangely intriguing boy with the yellow glasses in my freshman theater class. The day I married him seven years ago was pretty life changing, too...



5. The day The Prince was born...well, from the day we found out we were pregnant...but boy, I had no idea how much life would change! I can't believe what an amazing little gift he is. He's incredible!


6. Yogurtland.


That's all for now. I'd love to hear others' biggest (most memorable, favorite?) life-changing experiences.

My Unexpected Afternoon

Whoops, it's been almost two weeks since my last post. Sorry! But, this morning, The Prince is taking an extra long nap, so we'll see how far we get.

Last week, an unexpected work snafu left me with some free time (yay!), and here's how I spent it:

I went to a magical place called Yogurtland, which was life changing. More on the life changing things later.

It didn't take long to plow through my cup of deliciousness, so I went to the library. They have a big paper crane display, which tugged at my elementary-school memory of a book, and sure enough, the label for the display talked about Sadako and the 1000 Paper Cranes. The display was beautiful. Highly recommend it, at the Southglenn Library. I picked up a few children's books, and a novel I couldn't resist - a mystery - The Skein of the Crime, about a murder in the college town of Fort Connor, CO.

Next, I took a short stroll around the Streets at Southglenn to discover things and stores I'd like to further investigate with my mom or good girlfriends, but which hubby will certainly not appreciate (Overpriced but fabulous mani/pedi experience at Allie Katz, anyone?)

A short stop at the luxurious bathrooms (really, they are. And they are one of The Prince's favorite changing station in the metro area), and off to browse at Target to complete my free time.

Aahhh, yogurt/library/windowshopping. Smile.

Eating my Words...and We're All Getting More Sleep. Sort Of.

Gosh, it's hard to know what's the right thing to do in this parenting adventure. Like, what's not going to scar (totally wrote "scare" first; guess that's a concern, too) this precious child for the rest of his life? What will serve him best as he grows up?





Remember my first post? I'm not sure how to link it right now, like some of my other favorite bloggers, but I'll work on that. Anywho, it was all about how The Prince isn't sleeping through the night, and how I just can't let him "cry it out"...





I changed my mind. I think the first time we tried this, neither Daddy or Mommy could go past twenty minutes or so, and The Prince was so upset that it took a long time to get him relaxed enough to go back to sleep. The thought with "crying it out" is that you let the child figure out how to get himself back to sleep, instead of rocking/feeding/whatever, so he won't be dependent on you to sleep. With this early attempt, it just didn't seem like he was getting any closer to sleeping.





Fast forward to a week when I'm at my wit's end. We'd gone back to every two hours, and I know that he doesn't need to eat that much. The final straw was that it was affecting The Prince. He was tired all day, very different from his normal, cheery self. So, at the 9:30 waking, I took a big breath, and let him cry. It lasted for...three minutes. Yep, that's all it took. I couldn't believe it. The night was still pretty long, with more wakings, but they almost all went for only five minutes or so. I did feed him again at midnight, when the cry was longer and especially urgent.





So, we're making progress. Baby boy is still waking a couple times each night, and usually needs fed two times. This is a big improvement from five or six times. Throw in a few obstacles - three more teeth coming in, an very exciting visit from out-of-town relatives, the dog jingling her collar - and we move backward. The encouraging thing is that The Prince sleeps consistently well for the first half of the night. And that he still smiles at me in the morning.

He Understands "Milk!"

The sign language thing? Seems to be working. At least, Mommy and Daddy are getting used to doing the appropriate signs at the appropriate times. (I suppose inappropriate signs are for another blog?)

So, I decided to see if The Prince really got it. Or if he could show me that he got it. When I suspected that it was time to nurse, I did the sign for milk. Guess what? Well, the title gives it away, but he gets it! He got all excited, smiling and shaking his arms. And so, we nursed. This is one of our main points of interaction now. I certainly try not to overuse it, so he doesn't start to think that it means something else, but if he's fussy and I'm not sure if he's hungry, I just ask him. If he's not hungry, he kind of looks away, or looks at me like "Um, no. Silly lady." (He's almost rolling his eyes.) !!!!

Daddy saw The Prince do the sign for dog when said pug ran into the room. The Prince looked at his hand and did the sign (which is sort of like snapping), and even said something that sounded like "Doggeeee!") He hasn't done it for Mommy yet, but I know he's that smart.

And, of course, The Prince is already saying "Mommy." No, really. Sometimes it does seem to be babble on his syllable of choice, but he often does it while looking at me, or when he's crying or hungry. And, then, of course, I ask him if he wants some milk.

Remembering Kitty Chloe

She weighed one pound when we brought her home, exactly enough to be adopted. She had a large head, large meow, and an even bigger personality for such a tiny girl. She was my first best friend in a new neighborhood, my first baby. She liked to be bundled ('swaddled,' as I now recognize it), and my Great Uncle was fooled by one such bundling into thinking that I was holding my child (twelve years old here, mind you!). She climbed up curtains, and once found herself perched on the shoulder of my Great Grandma during Thanksgiving prayer - Grandma didn't even miss a word in the blessing! She stole bits of homemade chicken salad, or whatever she could get. She liked to crunch chip bags, play with scraps of fabric, and get grey fur on your clothes. We snuggled. She greeted me after school and upon waking (usually her choice of time). Her favorite methods of playing alarm clock: messing with the blinds, knocking things off of dressers, and sitting next to my head while breathing on my face. She held grudges. When I went to college, I missed her as much as I missed my family and my home. If I came home for just a few hours, it wasn't enough time for her to get over being mad at me to come out and say hello. After I got married, I lived in a place where she could live, too, and my mom gracefully relinquished custody. Sometimes at the new house I would hear her meowing, and find her just listening to her own voice in the bathroom. She spent the later years of her life doing laps around the house and bellowing for food. She always purred, and accepted new members of the family, whether canine, feline, or human, with tolerant amusement.

Today I remember kitty Chloe, my Russian Blue Creme beauty. I know animals don't have souls, and really we won't even need our pets in heaven, but it's nice to think that there's a pet heaven, or that maybe Jesus will let Chloe into my mansion for me.

The Truth? Today was a Struggle

Today was a struggle. It certainly didn't help that my lack of sleep left me teetering on the edge of I-just-might-lose-it-any-second, but it was a trying day. A trying few weeks, for that matter. Too much to do, not enough time, not enough arms (I was just telling The Prince that if I were an octopus mommy things would be much easier. But I suppose the octopus mommies wish they were centipede mommies!).

I guess I'm still working through my new identity as a mom and what that means for me. I resigned my parttime teaching position so I can stay at home more with The Prince, but that means that this year is the first since kindergarten that I won't be attending or teaching school in some way.

I did go to one of the best conferences I've ever experienced this week. That was part of the time struggle, but I'm definitely glad I worked it in. It challenged the way I see myself as a leader in my church and in my home. And I left with some great books and thoughts to work through. Now to only find the time to do that...

The Prince is teething again. It's been going on for over a week, and this time there's at least three coming in at once. The difficult part there, and I assume this is part of what being a parent is all about, is that I can't do much to help him. A little bit of medicine or frozen banana to munch on, but much of the day he hurts too much to suck. Oh, sweet baby. Special thanks to the nursery workers who took extra-special care of him this morning.

We had a neighborhood BBQ last night, and between that and the conference, my introverted self was soooo relieved to get back to my little quiet condo and the sleeping Prince.

Things I love tonight (well, most nights, but they are especially sweet tonight): thunderstorms, my husband's homemade icecream, The Prince lounging on the boppy after he eats, and the way he puts his tiny head on my shoulder when I burp him. The Prince, not The Hubby.

Of course, it would help with the sleeping thing if I didn't stay up late to work on my blog.

And I would like a pair of Tom's.

Express Yourself!

We're teaching The Prince sign language. The idea is that babies are capable of expressing themselves before they're ready to speak, so you give them tools to do so. Some say it slows down the appearance of first words, some say it speeds it up. I think anything I can do to help my little one express himself is great.

You start with a few fun words and a few daily, necessary words. We've chosen milk, more, food, bed(sleepy), doggie, kitty, and ducky. The signs are easy to learn and to remember; the tricky part is remembering to do them every time you say the word. You say and sign the word when you're doing or holding that thing.

The cool part is that The Prince has started paying attention to the signs. For a while, it seemed as though it was just for myself, but one day at bathtime I noticed him noticing my hand sign "ducky." Yay!

The whole thing got me thinking: if he's ready to express himself before he talks, and he's noticing when I do the signs, how much is he really taking in? I think sometimes we tend to go about our daily lives, not paying attention to what the baby is paying attention to. It's enough to make me consider everything that I surround myself with, and therefore surround The Prince with: the TV, the music, my words and tone when I deal with other people and the pets.

This verse has been heavily on my mind lately, and is a perfect check for me to go through when considering the things I allow myself and The Prince to take in:

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

Phil 4:8

What's Blogging all About?

I've hesitated to start a blog because I'm a little nervous to put everything out for all to see. I used to make up fabulous blog entries in my head, and file them away for someday.

Now that 'someday' is here, not only can I not remember those fabulous entries, I'm just not sure what to write about. I follow a few blogs that are eloquent, witty, amusing, and I'm not sure I can commit to that. I'm also not sure that I can commit to perfection in grammar and spelling. Should I do daily journal entries? Share scripture I'm reading? Funny things The Prince does, or reasons I love my hubby? Really take a chance and tell you how I truly feel?

I suppose the answer is...yes. My blog shall be a combination of all these things. Hopefully some eloquent, witty, amusing entries surface.

On another note, The Prince got ear infections (double, again, boo) a few nights after the first Serious Night of the new sleeping plan. And I'm pretty sure I see his top two teeth coming in. So, for now, I'm concentrating on helping him sleep. I consider that a pretty special job. I'll continue dreaming (hah!) of a night when I, too, can sleep.

Sleep

I'll admit it. The Prince is not sleeping through the night. I have a few friends who proudly proclaim, "my infant is sleeping all night long." What do I say to them? "That's great! Congratulations!" What do I think? "I am so jealous. And tired."



So, we are trying something different. I'll never be able to do 'extinction,' or letting The Prince cry for hours so he 'learns' how to get himself to sleep. I know that's the problem, that he doesn't know how to get himself to sleep and he needs my help, but I just can't handle the crying. It makes us both sick. I know it works for some families, but not mine.



We've chosen 'The No-Cry Sleep Method.' Sounds great, right? The only problem? It may take weeks (and lots of work) to see results. Weeks. You do what you need to get the babe to sleep, then gradually modify that. (That 'extinction' method looks pretty good here, since proponents claim it may take only a few nights. Still not worth it.)



I'll start off by saying The Prince sleeps in his own crib, but I'm not opposed to (safe) co-sleeping, and I think it's very special. We have chosen an early bedtime, regular naps, and routines.



Last night was the first Serious Night. Here's the sleep log:

Begin bedtime routine: 5:30 (dinner, bath, massage, songs, nursing, rocking)

Asleep: 6:30 in crib.

Awake: 10:55, nursed, back asleep by 11:05.

Awake: 2:35, nursed, diaper change, back asleep by 2:45.

Awake: 4:53, rocked back to sleep.

Awake: 5:23, nursed, back asleep by 5:33.

Awake: 5:40, brought into my bed.

Awake for the day: 6:30.



That's five night wakings, with a total of about 11 hours of sleep.



We'll re-evaluate in ten days.



Yes, I'm jealous of my friends who get a full night's sleep. But I'll cherish the extra time with The Prince while I have it.