Arg

Tonight I am frustrated with myself.

It is the end of a very long week. The Prince has been very sick. He's had a cough for several weeks, but (after two doctor's visits in two days) we were told he also has RSV. This is a very scary virus, most especially for very young babies, so we are fortunate that The Prince is a bit older. Regardless, it's been sleepless nights for everyone, and much mucous.

I started this evening feeling defeated from the week. It seems as though my son has spent the last several days crying, much at night, and there is not much I can do. I can't soothe him, he can't take many meds to help, and I have gotten to the "I can't handle this" point several times.

Thus my frustration. I feel like these feelings are normal, but in perspective, we are OK. With the tragic deaths over the holidays, and now one of my friends from college is in the hospital with an extremely sick newborn, I don't think I should be feeling quite so sorry for myself. To be sure, I am in a serious situation as well. But I am also in a fortunate one.

After I laid him down for the night, The Prince began crying again. This is unusual, to start crying so close to this side of bedtime, so I went in to check on him. We rocked a bit, he held his sea horsey, and he talked to me. Just chatted, as if he needed a few more minutes to tell me things. No crying, just a few smiles and sweet baby words. I laid him down, and he went to sleep.

What a precious gift my son gave me. I'm still exhausted and bewildered by the week, but I was priveleged enough to share a special moment with him.

I suppose we'll get through this. The laundry and dishes will probably have to wait, and I'll once again need to evaluate my expectations of myself.