It was going to be a busy day, so I was hurrying around during The Prince's nap to get ready.

Now, what is one of the worst things Mommy can hear during Baby's nap? The doorbell. And the fearsome guard dog reacting to the doorbell.

I got the dog quieted and edged around her to open the door. The new neighbor was standing there, holding jumper cables (Our interactions with this neighbor have been limited to introductions and silent grumbling at their dog's "packages" left on the shared front lawn).

She says "Our battery's dead, can you help us?" I think "No. I don't want to. I'm in a terrible hurry, and I don't want to leave my sleeping baby alone in the house. Arg, really? Lord, do you want me to do this? Well, how many times have I needed jumped, and I was at the mercy of coworkers and a rescuing hubby? Answer: too many. Sigh. OK." Out loud, I say "All right, give me a few minutes."

I finished applying my mascara, threw on jeans and a sweatshirt, and tried to sneak out without disturbing the guard dog.

The neighbor's mysterious grandson appeared briefly, then disappeared, leaving the lady and myself. That's ok, I've got lots of practice with this.

I wedged my car in next to the handicapped spot, and she very carefully popped her hood. Her dog helped. I searched for the hooky to undo her hood. For future reference, in mid-decadeish grey Ford Explorer-types, it's in the front grille.

Popped the hood ("Red to red, black to black!" Really? Thanks. Got it.), attached the cables, instructed her what to do, turned on my car. Her engine roared to life. I told her to keep the car running to recharge, and swiftly unhooked the cables and drove my car back to it's spot. Ran into the house, and The Prince is still sleeping soundly.

I'm sort of repulsed at myself for hesitating, not only because of the holiday season, and my beliefs, but because I actually prayed a few days ago for God to use me. As I was praying, I hesitated. Did I really want to ask for this? This was bound to bring challenges my way, calls to step outside my comfort zone. So, when my prayer was answered, why did I not jump at the chance?

So, I'm learning. And trying to embrace the challenges.

Pray for Peace

A new friend of mine shared some wisdom with me over coffee and crocheting: if you ask God for patience, He'll certainly give it, but you'll learn it through trials and unexpected kinks in your path. Instead, ask God for peace.

Not that I wouldn't want to grow through trials and become a much better person, better prepared for what God has in store for me, but it seems like a good measure of peace would be a great way to ready for that journey.

I pray for peace in my life, amidst all the chaos and uncertainty of finances, sleepless nights, and various unknowns that constantly hover around the edges.

I pray for peace for my baby, as he tries to sleep through the night. I ask God to put His arms around my son, and to comfort and relax him.

I pray for peace in the lives of those in my marigold garden (it's an illustration I found to describe people you pray for) in the chaos of their lives, and all the challenges they face.

The list goes on. And you know what? I really can feel it. I'm a pretty emotional person, and I don't handle stress well. But with God's peace, I feel like I can face whatever comes and deal with it. I'm learning what's really important, and what's just not.

And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your
hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Phillipians 4:7

I've often heard this verse, but not usually in context. The verses immediately preceding it are about not worrying, about lifting requests up to God and letting Him handle it. It seems like a cycle - I ask God for peace, but that peace also comes with giving Him my worries. It's all connected, and God's constantly teaching me and showing me His majesty and glory.

Closer

We are one night closer to sleeping longer than four hours at a time.

Last night, when The Prince started crying at 11:30, I prayed. I cried out to God in desperation. My prayer was urgent, born of exhaustion.

Why is it that I do the thing that should be on the top of my list last?

The Prince got himself back to sleep. It happened several times, and we nursed at 3:00, but it was our best night yet. He woke up at 6:15 to eat again, and he was in a better morning mood than he has been for quite a while.

Each time he woke, I cried out again to God. It became a sort of a prayer-cheer, begging God for help and urging The Prince on. God answered in a way that made it clear He was at work.

We'll try again tonight, and I'll try to remember where my help comes from.